I Don't Know

At the moment I don't feel safe without someone to talk to but I feel too clingy asking everyone to go out their way to talk to me so instead I am sat here crying my eyes out again so full of self hatred, I'd rather die than have to go to work later, I feel fat, disgusting and guilty, I just want to feel skinny and be happy with myself for one day, please. I don't know what to do anymore but I guess it doesn't really matter what I do, as long as I still turn up for work I can do whatever I want. I might leave soon, just go half way across the country and never look back. I might live on the streets of London or Birmingham and hide from everyone I know. Be invisible in plain sight. I won't last very long but it doesn't matter. I'll be free to do what I want and wont have to worry about the consequences of my actions. I want to have a new life, anywhere I can. I want to be a new person.